i miss him...i love him...but it's too late

just now went to kennysia blog...he wrote a post about his late dad...and this remind me of my own father (i usually address my father as my father and not dad...dun ask me why)...

everyone said i resemble him the most if being compared to my siblings...this is why he always bring me along everywhere he go...

it's been 2 years edi since he is no longer with us...
and i still regret i din spend enough time with him during his last few days...and this is the part where i can't forgive myself...and to spend with him during his last few days is my only dream and i know..this would never ever come true..

i envy those ppl that can spend father's day with their fathers...as well as Christmas with their family regardless any religion..my father's birthday falls on eve of Christmas..which reminds me alot of him...

i still remember when i was young...he always called me to ta pau fu kin chao...so basically..i ate it since i was young..and even lok lok...i always tagged along him to pasar malam...just to eat that..

he always ensure me (since i'm the youngest) getting the best...even when he doesn't have much cash..he asked from my sister few hundred rm just to give me to buy new year clothes for cny..this is how he's been pampering me...and hence, making me more rebellious...

but being me..i always become the little bone that poke him...i always talked back...which i regretted now the most...

i always looked at my father when he is sleeping..i noticed those wrinkles on his face symbolizing those years that have been hard on him...and thinking about the nasty things and actions i did to him..i said to myself at that moment..."don't make him mad or sad anymore..they're old already"...but i always find myself quarreling with him...

as for my friends..don't be like me..cos one of my friend told me that..appreciate them when they
re here cos when they no longer here..you will definitely regret it...so..i'm trying to pass this genuine message to people that are reading this...

i really miss him...and i never said this to him before..i love him...but it's too late..
i always remember the jade-gold tooth he had...